Only Gonna Break Your Heart

heart break physically hurts you. its a fact.
i have gone through heart break countless times.
I had to revisit 2 of those days today.
I have drama first period in the morning, and we had a task. find an object that's really important to you, and bring it in and tell the story why its important, to the class. simple right? wrong.
I only have one thing that is really really important to me.
that is my "Believe" necklace i got when i was in Grade 8.

December 20 2007. my dad was diagnosed with throat cancer at the base of his tougne.
January 2nd 2008. my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer.
in a span of 2 weeks i had to grow from 13 to 45.
lets just say i was a fucking mess for the rest of the year.
the day my mom was supposed to have her surgery, my dad was also shedualed to have his radiation and chemo treatments. that was the darkest day of my whole life. i got home that day to find my dad resting at home and with the news my mom had done great in her surgery! you have know idea how relieved i was!
the next day i was in English and my whole class had come around me. they then gave me this necklace (the money that bought it, when to the sick kids hospital) and a card that everyone signed to me.
people were there for me in the hardest time of my life. and someone was finally taking care of me instead of me taking care of them.

i decided to share this story with my class. but as soon as i got on stage to speak, i welled up with tear and started shaking uncontrollably. i never get stage fright, but i was petrified to have people hear about my weakness. i have always had to be Strong for my family. but re-living those memories, of my parents so weak, had broken my heart again and again.

Heart break is physically painful. i try and forget about those memories. but sometimes i just cant be strong anymore.
I'm just an actress, always on the verge of an emotional breakdown.

TTFN
Tinkerbell <3