I'm going to write something.

heyy its been a while!
this is because i gave up on writing because people don't really care what i have to say. but im confused and hurting now so im going to try and write it out.

i don't feel like myself anymore.
i have changed into a completely different human since the start of school.
and i don't know why.

on Halloween i did something that i probably shouldn't have done, but i did it anyways thinking "what could go wrong".
things went wrong.

i met this guy and he honestly seemed to be too good to be true (the usual story eh?)
he seemed like the most perfect guy for me.
then Halloween happened. i turned into a bit of a whore and now he only thinks of me as a piece of ass.
whatever happened to talking about normal things?
all of our conversations now have to be about sex?
i cant even take it seriously!
he doesn't want a relationship right now, and neither do i, but all he can now talk about is how hard he wants to do me.
but i don't want to do anything until im in a committed relationship.
he just thinks were going to be fuck buddies.

and another thing.
i have always hated my life being planned out for me.
and lately EVERYTHING HAS BEEN!
like:
1. what my future will be
2. what exactly will be happening when i loose my virginity
3. what I'm going to be writing about for the next 2 weeks
4. what meals I'll have for the next 5 days

i like not knowing how my life will end up.
i don't want to plan it out, i just want it to happen!
apparently the people around me don't feel that way.


i hate planning

TTFN
Tinkerbell <3